Frog or Butterfly? Unveiling the Secret Power of Metaphors
"Frog or Butterfly? Unveiling the Secret Power of Metaphors," let’s explore how metaphors like the Boiling Frog and the Cocoon and the Butterfly can facilitate personal growth and self-awareness. By reflecting on these allegories, the author discusses the challenge of determining whether one's efforts lead to meaningful transformation or unnecessary strain. Emphasizing the importance of consciousness, values, and purpose, the article suggests that understanding which metaphor applies to our current situations can guide us in making better decisions. Concluding with a practical action plan, encouraging readers to regularly assess their engagement in various life areas to align with their goals and well-being.
Frog or Butterfly? Unveiling the Secret Power of Metaphors
While browsing a bookstore to curate my summer reading list, I stumbled upon a collection of mini-books—each about the size of my hand and the width of a finger. Among them was "Invaluable Lessons from a Frog" by Olivier Clerc, a book frequently recommended in coaching circles for its potent use of metaphors to help clients reach their goals (1).
Coincidence or not, I grabbed it without hesitation
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what about metaphors and allegories? These tools hold a secret power: they allow us to generate our own meanings. Metaphors have been increasingly used in positive psychology, therapy, and coaching (2) (3), facilitating shifts and transformations that enable change (4). By inviting us to take a step back, metaphors shift our energy from contractive to expansive, offering insights into ourselves and our situations (5).
As I delved into the book's seven universal tales, I found it easy to link past experiences to the stories. Yet, applying them to current situations seemed less straightforward. Reflecting on my coaching practice and the use of metaphors, two stories struck me in particular: "The Boiling Frog" and "The Cocoon and the Butterfly". Both involve situations requiring extra effort but invite us to take very different actions with different outcomes.
In a world that's constantly changing, how can we identify which allegory we're currently experiencing, and how can we infer the best course of action? This is the question I am inviting you to explore with me today.
The Allegories
The Boiling Frog
Imagine a pot filled with cold water where a frog is swimming peacefully. The heat is turned on, and the water warms up slowly. Soon, it becomes lukewarm. The frog finds this quite pleasant and continues swimming. As the temperature rises further, the water becomes hot—more than the frog likes—but the frog doesn't panic. The heat starts to make the frog tired and sluggish, but it tries to adapt and doesn't act. Eventually, the water becomes so hot that the frog, now too weakened, can't escape and ends up cooked without ever trying to get out. If the frog had been suddenly dropped into hot water, it would have jumped out immediately.
The Cocoon and the Butterfly
When a caterpillar is nearly transformed into a butterfly, it faces one final challenge: breaking free from the cocoon. It must gather enough strength in its wings to break out all at once. This final struggle is crucial; it's through this effort that the butterfly develops the muscles needed for flight.
Cocoon or Hot Pot?
The common interpretation of the frog story is a warning: don't get boiled without noticing it. Stay aware of subtle changes around you and how they affect you. Constant adaptation to uncomfortable situations can drain our energy and weaken our consciousness, leading us to continue adapting until it's too late. On the other hand, the butterfly story suggests that some efforts are necessary for growth—like the butterfly's struggle to emerge from the cocoon.
Choose Wisely !
Raised in a culture that praises effort, combined with the mantra "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", adaptation is my default response to any challenge. However, after years devoted to personal development, I've come to see how subtly our biases can steer our decisions without us even realizing it. Recognizing that time and energy are precious and limited resources, I now consciously question where I should invest them most wisely, thus trying to answer more systematically the question:
Is this effort a stepping stones for my growth
or it’s a draining effort leading me to boil?
Noticing how easy it is to apply allegories to past situations but harder with current ones, I began reflecting on what elements could help me, my coaching clients, and you, dear readers, answer the question: Frog or Butterfly?
Factors to consider
The frog hesitates because it can't predict if the water will get hotter; it would jump if it knew for sure. Meanwhile, the caterpillar pushes to break free because it knows it must to fly.
Confidence in what the future holds is a factor to consider or to work on.
If you were certain that enduring daily challenges would pay off for your career, well-being, and the company's future, wouldn't you be more like the caterpillar, determined to spread your wings? Would that be enough to make the effort ?
"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" Nietzsche.
This highlights that having a meaningful purpose is often a stronger driver than just confidence in the outcome. The more meaningful the goal feels to you, the more likely you are to embrace the role of the caterpillar, willing to put in the extra effort for growth.
So ask yourself: Are you learning and building something that truly matters to you?
An already busy employee to whom a new high-visibility project has been added to his portfolio, focusing solely on career advancement, one might feel this opportunity like a butterfly transformation depsite the overload. However, when considering all life domains—family, friendships, love, personal growth, health, and career—a professional challenge might resemble more to a cocoon in a boiling pot. That's why it's crucial to know yourself, your values, and priorities, maintaining a holistic view including personal and professional goals in mind.
But how do you realize the water's getting hotter?
Being in a constantly heated environment demands all your attention, making you less aware of other aspects of your life. The less conscious you are, the harder it is to notice how hot things are getting and take action to escape. It's like driving when tired—you start by fighting to keep your eyes open, but as you get more exhausted, you become less aware, and before you know it, you might drift off without realizing it (6).
Consciousness, a practice common to all spiritual traditions, helps us recognize uncomfortable situations by heightening our self-awareness. By noticing our feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations, we become more attuned to subtle signs of discomfort or stress, making it easier to acknowledge and address issues before the water boils.
Wrap up
Metaphors and allegories are impactful tools that help us step back, analyze situations, and decide on the best course of action. For this analysis to be fruitful, it's essential to have a deep understanding of your values, purpose, and objectives. Being conscious of your environment and how it's impacting you is key, especially since being in a heated environment requires constant effort that can decrease your overall consciousness. Training our consciousness—being more mindful of our internal experiences and the external world—helps us focus and gain control over our thoughts, emotions, and perceptions.
Take an action now!
Organizations set KPIs for their objectives and regularly review them. They also conduct employee engagement surveys to gauge well-being. So why not develop your own engagement survey on the areas of your life that matter to you and practice a weekly or a monthly review?
Samar El Hachem
Sept 2024
1. Russ Thompson, Coaching and Mentoring with Metaphor , International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring 2021, S15, pp.212-228. DOI: 10.24384/4sve-8713
2. Gonçalves, O. F., & Craine, M. H. (1990). The use of metaphors in cognitive therapy. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 4(2), 135–149.
3. Quinn, T., Trinh, S., & Passmore, J. (2022). An exploration into using LEGO® SERIOUS PLAY® (LSP) within a positive psychology framework in individual coaching: An interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA). Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 15(1), 102–116.
4. Boroditsky, L. (2000). Metaphoric structuring: Understanding time through spatial metaphors. Cognition, 75(1), 1–28. DOI: 10.1016/S0010-0277(99)00073-6.
5. Corri Beadle, Julia Papworth , The Experience of an Embodied MetaphorBased Positive Psychology Coaching Intervention for Transformation and Insight , International journal of evidence based coaching and mentoring, 2024-02, Vol.22 (1), p.109-129
6. Invaluable lessons from a frog, book written by Oliver Clerc.
